Culture Shock

Someone wrote into the "Dear Cary" column on salon.com today about the culture shock he was experiencing having moved to San Diego from New York.

Cary recommended returning to New York because "New York is your home. It's where you are known and understood. If you walk around strangers too long you get strange. You get estranged from yourself. They don't understand who you really are. They haven't seen what you have seen. It is a struggle to make them understand."

I am starting to agree with that sentiment, but most of the response letters to the column have encouraged the letter writer to stick it out for at least two years. They do agree that a lot of Southern Californians prefer to keep social interaction "light and happy" and can be passive aggressive. I've had that experience at work. Several coworkers have asked me how it's going on the new job, and I've replied tactfully but truthfully that it's been a steep learning curve, memorizing everyone's name and job description. Inevitably the questioner's face will fall at this reply, as if the only acceptable response would have been "I love it!" with a high-five to emphasize my enthusiasm.

I've realized that if I stay here, most of my friends will end up being people who are transplants like myself.