The Cut and Run

It's interesting that after less than a year in the Hollywood area I'm ready to cut and run for Malibu. Next I'll just sail out to sea.

It's like all my dates cutting their losses once they realize I may not be interested. Even when they come on strong, they are just GONE when things don't heat up quickly. Whatever happened to friendship, I ask you. I have managed to remain friends with only two of those guys.

On the other hand, what am I gonna do, throw a party for myself, three single female friends, and twenty-five of my former dates?

On Sunday I had a brunch date at Urth Cafe in Santa Monica, and we discussed how unlikely it is to run into people you know in Los Angeles. Afterwards, as we were walking to my car, this woman I met on Friday drove by and started honking and waving at us.

The Art(lessness) of Conversation

One of my dates here told me that he often had to do all the work at keeping conversation afloat when he went out with women in L.A. After encountering other women here in social situations, I am starting to understand why I get asked out on second dates. It is indeed painful to carry on a conversation with some of the women I have met here (not all, of course). Here's a sample from the other night:

Me: So where did you move here from?
Dimwit girl: Maryland (silence, no elaboration, no return question)

And so on. Now imagine a whole evening of that. It's like a game of 20 Questions with me as the hostess.

When I first moved to town I was invited out for drinks with a group of women, and when I saw them a second time a few months later, I asked each of them how things were going with events they had mentioned from that first evening. Not one of them asked me a question in return!

In Sickness

I had another bad sore throat this week. If it's not my throat, it's my stomach, or else I can't sleep.

Three years ago, when I was living in Austin, a friend of mine, who is three years older than me, moved to Seattle. She also suffered from stress and headaches and insomnia after moving. I spent hours on the phone with her, empathizing and sharing my own ambivalent feelings about staying long term in Austin. She certainly didn't make moving to the West Coast look easy, as she talked a lot about the expense and the job obstacles and the difficulty of trying to make friends while in such a vulnerable position (new to town, no relatives in the area, single, jobless, etc.).

Well, I made the move anyway, and now that I'm going through all those things, she has completely disappeared, with little explanation other than problems with a new boyfriend. All I can say is, it must have been nice to have had a friend like me.

Ironically, before I moved, I became friends with a woman three years younger than me, with the same first name as my friend who moved to Seattle, and she's still making a go of it in Austin while experiencing some of the same things I went through there (albeit with a far better outlook). And I'm now on the West Coast, calling her to kvetch.

Small Town Vs. Big Town

After eight years in Austin I felt that every new person I met was only one degree separated from me; we would almost always have at least one friend or acquaintance in common. At this point, I can't imagine that being the case in Los Angeles. Perhaps those incestuous connections are true within a particular industry, but even then, it's hard for me to imagine.

Although, I did find out last week that someone I dated in Austin and the husband of a friend of mine in L.A. both dated the same semi-famous woman.

Friends or Scattered Acquaintances, Part II

I drove to Pasadena Saturday night for a birthday party. It took 45 minutes. Long winding drive up Laurel Canyon, then a trip east on the 101. There's a swing dance event in Pasadena every Thursday night called Lindy Groove, but there's no way I can drive out there on a weeknight.

Pasadena has it's own (crowded) main street (Colorado), as does Sherman Oaks (Ventura Blvd.). So it's true; there's no center here, just a bunch of different areas with their own central districts.

Today I drove to Studio City to hike Fryman Canyon with a friend. Another beautiful hiking spot.

Things I've Learned Thus Far

It looks like I'm going to be finishing out this three-week temp job. No early reprieve. I'm taking next week off and spending at least one full weekday in Malibu!

Things I've learned thus far:
1) Applying to job ads is a complete waste of time. I'm done.
2) Temping might be a viable job search strategy.
3) You can earn major kudos as a temp simply by showing up and breathing.
4) The anonymity of L.A. suits me at this point in my life.
5) Having friendships in L.A. does not feel that different than having long-distance friendships in other states, since the L.A. friendships are spread so far and wide.
6) Men my age have no interest in dating women my age.
7) Short-term temp jobs (as in, one week or less) are preferable.
8) It is possible to suffer from "novelty fatigue."

Friends or Scattered Acquintances?

Thus far I have made acquintances in Venice, Santa Monica, Torrance, Culver City, Silverlake, East Hollywood, Glendale, and North Hollywood.

If pressed I would describe my current social scene as "incoherent."

I have been trying to figure out my geographic range for friendship. How far is too far? I have to check out the map before befriending someone.