The Cut and Run

It's interesting that after less than a year in the Hollywood area I'm ready to cut and run for Malibu. Next I'll just sail out to sea.

It's like all my dates cutting their losses once they realize I may not be interested. Even when they come on strong, they are just GONE when things don't heat up quickly. Whatever happened to friendship, I ask you. I have managed to remain friends with only two of those guys.

On the other hand, what am I gonna do, throw a party for myself, three single female friends, and twenty-five of my former dates?

On Sunday I had a brunch date at Urth Cafe in Santa Monica, and we discussed how unlikely it is to run into people you know in Los Angeles. Afterwards, as we were walking to my car, this woman I met on Friday drove by and started honking and waving at us.

It's Getting Hot In Here

And I don't just mean in my apartment.

This week I accepted a temp job, have a babysitting gig for the weekend, am taking my medical exam to be a library sub, have an interview on Saturday and may have another one for a dream job coming up, and have five dates lined up. Be careful what you wish for and all that.

This Town

I had a second interview for the extremely low-paying but entertainment (related) job on Monday. Liked the people but was hoping it would take a couple of weeks to hear back so I could give the library possibility some more time. Well, yesterday my agency called to say I was offered the job and for more money (although still in the low range of mid-thirties). The agency then gave me two hours to get back to them with a decision.

Given that my interviewers had stressed that they wanted a committed person, I had to turn it down. I just wasn’t sure that particular job (administrative work on union contracts) was worth the financial sacrifice, and I felt that I would need a couple more weeks on the job hunt before I could feel comfortable taking it. I had to endure the wrath of the employment agency, which was unpleasant, especially after I had made what I consider to be a measured decision and had endured a couple of less-then-ideal temp jobs for them. There won’t be any agencies left I want to work for pretty soon.

This town is getting small in more ways than one. I had a lunch date yesterday, and, as it turned out, that guy knew Mr. Grabby Hands. They both grew up in L.A., went to posh high schools, are around the same age, went to college in the area, etc. So perhaps L.A. can be a small place.

A Crazy Date

Went on a third date last night with the guy I ran into on the Yahoo! campus. After he became Mr. Grabby Hands in his penthouse apartment and I told him I wanted to leave, he completely flipped his lid. Lots of yelling and wild accusations, with the browbeating continuing all the way down the elevator and out onto the street. Armchair diagnosis: paranoia. I'm lucky I didn't end up like Lana Clarkson from the Phil Spector case.

I knew it would never work, as he's a Republican and his suggestion of a date movie was "Die Hard 4." Speaking of bad movies, there was a great slew of "letters to the editor" in Salon today about the reasons people don't go to the theaters anymore, with mentions of outrageous ticket prices and superior TV series. Included were compliments to L.A.'s Arclight, Austin's Alamo Drafthouse, and Grosse Pointe Blank. The letters can be found at the end of this article:
http://salon.com/ent/movies/review/2007/07/19/btm/

Factory Girl

My roommate auditioned for a game show gig today and kept me up last night asking for advice on outfits. Then I was woken up this morning with a call about a temp job in Santa Monica at a clothing manufacturer; the position involved helping one of the designers prepare for a trade show. Again, a stretch for "entertainment," but my agency did say this was an unusual job for them to place.

I agreed to take it and spent the day steaming and folding clothes and creating clothing labels. It was actually pretty taxing, and I go back again tomorrow.

Here's an odd story. Yesterday evening I had a drink with a date in Westwood, and while I was steaming the shirts this morning, he rang me on my cell. I couldn't pick it up when he called but figured I'd call him back over lunch. After several bungled attempts at finding a place to eat, I ended up in the Yahoo! courtyard, and just after I ordered something at the counter and was digging my cell phone out of my purse, I ran into him. Strange, as he doesn't even work at Yahoo! He was standing around with his friends, and it was awkward in a "high school cafeteria" type of way.

I told him I was stalking him (he looked like he believed me). We had lunch together. When I got back to work and told the designer what had happened, he responded that it was "just like a John Cusack movie."

Not Yet the One

Went to a new, crowded, trendy club on Sunset last night called One. Loud music and lots of bare shoulders, highlighted hair, sparkling makeup, and pricey drinks. Same as a number of trendy clubs in Austin, the types I rarely frequented. I'm glad I got out, but it wasn't a conducive atmosphere for striking up conversation with people I barely know.

Earlier in the day I received a letter from the library stating I didn't receive a job offer from my interview. I believe this is because I knocked myself out of the running by stating job preferences that didn't match up to what they had on offer (I think mainly children's and teen service positions, although I was never told what actual jobs were available and at what locations). I could have saved myself some time and grief if they weren't so cryptic about what was on offer.

So back to Square One. Ugh. I registered with two local library employment agencies this morning and put my hat in the ring for some part-time, temporary positions that are a fairly significant commute from where I live. I figure maybe I can do the commute part-time. I'm still on the temp list for the two entertainment agencies, and I recontacted one of my former generic agencies and said I'd be interested in permanent work again if it paid a certain amount. I'm also in the running for library sub positions with the system that just interviewed me.

My job search has become totally schizo. I have three dates lined up this weekend, and I don't know how I am going to answer questions about what the heck I'm doing here.

The Financial Review

I've spent a happy 4th this morning "running the numbers." I've decided the decision deadline on "should I stay or should I go" is November 1st. I don't want to keep temping full-time until then, but it would definitely help if I could find a long-term, part-time temp gig that would allow me to be available for interviews or for subbing at the library.

If I still haven't found a good job by November, I'll have to decide if I like L.A. enough to keep looking for jobs and/or waiting on the library, knowing if I take a position after that point I'll be committing to at least a second year of living here. My car insurance payment will be coming up in January, and it'll cost me twice as much if I stay on. My condo won't be available until June 1st, so I'd have to move back home to Houston or in with a roommate in Austin if I do leave. It should be easy to find someone to drive back with me around Thanksgiving if I decide to head back.

In the meantime I'm going to get back out there socially, which equates to more dating, as there doesn't seem to be a whole lot else going on here at this age, and I've done the research.

On Tuesday I have an interview with an association related to the entertainment industry that could be considered a prestigious place to work, although it might be on the senior citizen side. The job as initially described to me sounded like event planning, but in actuality it's formatting contracts, and it only pays in the high 20s. The workplace will have to seem like a barrel of laughs for me to be interested.

I looked back over my temping jobs, and yes indeed, anything that could even remotely fall under the entertainment umbrella paid the lowest temp wages, about $11 an hour. I did get called last week about a temp receptionist position paying $16 an hour at a news studio in Santa Monica (another "entertainment" position), but I was already in a temp job, and frankly that offer wasn't that appealing either. I don't mind starting at the bottom rung, but it needs to be on a ladder I want to climb! The Big Important Talent Agency job that was floated by me so many months ago only paid in the high 20s, but it was in the story department (up my alley), was a short commute, and the contacts would have been invaluable. The cruiseline job paid similarly low at 30k, but it seemed fun, and I got a free cruise! But those jobs didn't come through.

I've also checked out some other library systems in L.A. and no dice as far as openings.

Sugar Babies

I've had to become comfortable with men treating me to nice dates here; there was a lot more "going dutch" in Austin. Partly this difference is due to the seriousness of both careers and dating here, partly it's because I've been too poor to protest much, and partly it's due, no doubt, to the fact that I have yet to date any aspiring actors. I do feel bad that I can't reciprocate with much of anything right now, since I'm not in a position to throw parties or gather friends together like I was in Austin.

Several of my L.A. friends have, in the past, received substantial sums from former dalliances to cover living expenses, so I guess I shouldn't feel that guilty about a drink or dinner.

Dating on Location

There was a film crew shooting at Greystone Park yesterday when I met my date. We then went hiking in Franklin Canyon, and a woman wearing nothing but a scanty blouse was participating in a photo shoot at the entrance to the hiking trail. Only in L.A.

I was actually asked out on a date in the frozen food section of Whole Foods this morning, but I can't fit in another prospect at the moment. This guy said he was a "producer," but he seemed like a nice person.

I now think that Vogue (or was it Elle?)article about dating in L.A. had some truth in it. I seem to have hit a vein of very nice, smart, successful, late thirties/ early forties men looking for serious relationships. They all seem very sincere and are not the "player" types that one associates with Los Angeles. I don't think they've had an easy time on the dating scene here.

That's Entertainment

I'm pursuing some entertainment industry leads this week as I wait to hear more from the library. Tried another personal assistant agency on Sunset, but I had to ring a buzzer to get through the locked front door, and then the receptionist would barely give me the time of day. I have an interview on Wednesday with another entertainment temp agency; I'm thinking the best idea is for me to temp in the industry and build some connections during this waiting period. I also have a lunch date planned with an acquintance at CBS.

Coincidentally, I have three dates lined up this week with men who work in the industry. Those "creatives" are definitely my type... for better or worse.

I also caught up with my friend A., who had free passes to a screening of "Ocean's Thirteen" last night. I haven't seen A. in weeks and weeks. It's nice to finally have some free time to catch up with people! But now I know why it's been years since I've been to a theater to see a mainstream film. Pointless, unfunny, lazy,cliched, smug, boring... might as well have been watching paint dry. Of course, the theater was packed and everyone was laughing and seemingly enjoying themselves, proving that I am out of touch with 95% of humanity! I think there were about three other people in attendance for "Hollywood Dreams," which I, of course, was thoroughly engaged by.

The Fat Lady Sings

The title of this post is a reference to the fact that this is the last week at my current gig, but it's also a reference to my new obsession with "The Sopranos," which seems to have a lot in common with "Grosse Pointe Blank." I just started watching "The Sopranos" two episodes ago but now I'm hooked on seeing it all play out.

It's been a nice distraction, as the past week at the job was another trial of unappreciated endurance, with another date that went nowhere, followed by a disappointing weekend. Friday night was spent with my roommate cleaning out melted food in the fridge (from a prior mishap), followed by the breakage of a glass jar filled with coins (it fell off the refrigerator), followed by another blown fuse, followed by problems with our internet connection as a result of the blown fuse. I did attend an interesting "Un-Cabaret" stand-up show Saturday night that featured comedy based on real life experiences as opposed to set-ups and punchlines, but at the last minute plans were changed and I had to go alone. It's awkward to attend events alone here as they usually include a cumpolsory meal and thus are set up with table seating as opposed to auditorium seating. The comics were really sharp though (writers and actors from "The Office" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm") and so it felt cathartic. Sunday I went on a challenging hike in Pacific Palisades with a group that consisted of four couples and five single women. Sunday night a date I was supposed to go on got bungled and thus cancelled.

Ah, the weekend... almost makes me long for the workweek except for the fact of my current job.

The Morning After

I drank a couple of glasses of wine last night and ended up with a raging headache that lasted all night. The good news is that it distracted me from my emerging anxiety disorder, and I was finally able to sleep.

I went out with a coworker and her husband; we had dinner first at their landmark apartment building in Hollywood, complete with old-timey elevator. My friend's husband is a former actor/ model. My roommate's boyfriend is a former model. One of the men I met on New Year's Eve was also a former model. I don't recall ever having known a "former model" before living here.

My friend used to work in the entertainment industry as a craft services provider. I've been a bit envious of the entertainment industry lifestyle because it allows for a lot of time off and because of the variety it provides in terms of working with new people and at new places all the time. But my coworker and her husband emphasized how stressful it all was, never knowing where your next paycheck is coming from.

We went to a birthday party for another coworker that was held in the penthouse suite of a hotel in Hollywood. The birthday boy was turning 27. As I wrote before, the bulk of my coworkers are in their twenties. His friends were all very sweet and polite, but I felt like I was watching an episode of the O.C.! Everyone looked so young.

My friends gave me a hard time upon leaving for not flirting more with some young guy who approached me at the party. He looked all of 24 years old. I asked my friend's husband if he knew any single men in their late thirties/ early forties, and he said all his friends were either married or in the closet or terrible people I wouldn't want to date. This does not bode well...

Cruisin' the Aisles

Several times at grocery stores around L.A., men have struck up conversations with me about the stock. I immediately go into "stranger danger" alert, so it's unlikely I will ever successfully find love at Whole Foods. I also honestly never know if the person is hitting on me or if he really wants to know if I've tried the soup.

Today at Trader Joe's this guy struck up a conversation with me about their frozen key lime pie. Even if I had wanted the conversation to lead to something, I would have had no idea how to make that happen. I wonder if there is some obvious come-on line I'm supposed to respond with, like, "I think the melons are also looking ripe." I have no idea, so I usually just answer their questions and take off!

Happy Anniversary to Me

Today marks my three-month anniversary in Los Angeles.

Last week, during my adjustment to the new job, I pondered whether I would choose, if I were able to do so, to snap my fingers and be back in my hobbit hole in Austin, at the old job, with this move to California having been nothing but a dream. I would say it was a toss-up. It's definitely been an exhilirating change, but I'm already worried about having lost the nice benefits I had at my old job. I'm also down about 10k, which in the large scheme of things is not that bad, but, considering my current salary and cost of living, I will have lost a lot more money than that by the end of the year.

Since I held onto my condo in Austin, I feel like I have one foot still there, and I'm not sure if having that "escape hatch" is such a good thing. From a practical stanpoint, yes, but maybe not from a psychological standpoint.

I have a date today and some flirtation possibilities at work, but out of the eight dates I've been on since moving here, I suspect that three of them were gay. Almost 50%! Not so encouraging.

I've also been overcome with anxiety and insomnia. For the most part, it's not conscious anxiety; I'll be happily watching Entourage, not a conscious concern in my head, only to turn off the TV and then lie in bed, completely unable to fall asleep. I just think it's unnerving to any human being to move to a new city without family or tight connections there. And I have a bunch of problems to solve that, when taken together, have led to an "overload on the system."

I've been exercising like a fiend as a way to cope. One of my yoga teachers, who looks like Frank Black (if you can imagine), said yesterday that L.A. is the "yoga capital of the world," with more yoga instruction than any other city. Or something like that.

As a positive effect of all this stress, I've lost about ten pounds.

I talked to a couple of Austin friends this week, and they mentioned the same old events that were attended by the usual suspects, and it didn't make me want to return. So I guess I just need to have faith that my new life here will fall into place somehow.

Los Angeles Social

It looks like I won't be temping today, which is fine with me. My inclination is to lie in bed with my head under the covers. I need to process the last 2 1/2 months.

My busy dating life has gone bust again and I think it's time to find some social activities to participate in. Flipping through the LA Weekly, though, I just don't see the listings for clubs and activities like I did in the Austin Chronicle. There's a guidebook coming out this month called "Los Angeles Social," by A.K. Crump, that looks promising, despite the fact that it is supposed to cover 2005-2006. Okay, maybe not so promising.

I did manage to pull together five people for drinks last Friday, which was fun. Three actors (including my British friend J.), one talent agent, and an architect. Lots of shop talk about the entertainment biz, but it was lively.

I'm also going to a party this weekend, which I'm really looking forward to. I could use a party!

Smart Dating

Went on a nice date last night at a small, cozy hotel bar in Beverly Hills. It was nice to get out, and I was even able to find a parking spot upon return. I have some more dates this weekend, and the men all seem bright and accomplished.

Austin has, I believe, the highest per capita number of people with college degrees. In Los Angeles I definitely get the impression that people with college degrees make up a much smaller proportion of the population. On the other hand, I meet a lot more Ivy Leaguers here. I guess a city this expensive is not for the faint of heart, so it makes sense that it draws the overachievers.

Things I've Learned Thus Far

It looks like I'm going to be finishing out this three-week temp job. No early reprieve. I'm taking next week off and spending at least one full weekday in Malibu!

Things I've learned thus far:
1) Applying to job ads is a complete waste of time. I'm done.
2) Temping might be a viable job search strategy.
3) You can earn major kudos as a temp simply by showing up and breathing.
4) The anonymity of L.A. suits me at this point in my life.
5) Having friendships in L.A. does not feel that different than having long-distance friendships in other states, since the L.A. friendships are spread so far and wide.
6) Men my age have no interest in dating women my age.
7) Short-term temp jobs (as in, one week or less) are preferable.
8) It is possible to suffer from "novelty fatigue."

Professional Dating

There is a difference between Austin and L.A. in the types of jobs the men are likely to have. While Austin consists primarily of engineers/ software developers, state bureaucrats, and musicians (who tend to have opposite sleep schedules from me), there are, logically, large numbers of people in L.A. working in the entertainment industry, be it on the business side (the realists/ sharks) or the creative side (the dreamers/ flakes).

I think I should date a shark and work for a flake!